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Alias Just Ain’t the Same Anymore

October 18, 2005 By Aaron Johnston

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Lauren and I have been longtime Alias fans. We got a late start, catching the first season on DVD after it aired, but once we got into it, there was no turning back. That is, until now. For those of you who aren’t caught up with the series and don’t want to read what’s happened so far this season, stop reading now. I mean it. Unless you don’t mind spoilers, stop reading now.

OK, you’re still here. Alias isn’t Alias anymore. Firstly, Sydney is pregnant. I’m not opposed to parenthood, of course; I have two little angels myself. It’s just that a pregnant woman can’t beat up people. And that’s one of the reasons why we watched Alias: to see Jennifer Garner take out a horde of thugs with a tube of lipstick and her stiletto heels. But now that’s she’s with child–and rather far along, I might add–she can’t go crashing through windows or jumping off buildings onto waiting helicopters. So now, instead of being the hero, Syd is the mentor. APO (the name of the secret CIA ops group to which Momma Garner belongs) has some new recruits, namely a guy who looks exactly like Liev Schriber and has an annoyingly breathy voice and a young blondie who looks like Lauren from Season Three. They’re the new stars of the show. Oh sure, it still revolves around Sydney, but she’s more an observer of the action now instead of being in the thick of it.

What’s more, Vaughn is dead. Or he is for now, anyway. Alias has a way of resurrecting the dead, and if I were a betting man, I’d wager money on seeing Vaughn alive by the end of the season. His absence is likely the result of his and Jennifer Garner’s real-life separation (the two were an off-screen item until Garner decided Ben Affleck was the better man). Vaughn probably asked to be off the show.

But regardless of the reasons for his departure, depart he has. And so has Weiss, another series regular, who has taken a job in “Washington,” which is a nice way of saying, “I’ve outgrown this show, and I’m starting my own.”

And Nadia, who I was never a fan of anyway, is still holed up in the hospital with some terrible disease. So she’s out of the picture as well.

Yes, shows must evolve, but all of this is too much for me. It’s like being told your favorite ice cream is no longer available. There’s another flavor that shows promise and has some of the same ingredients, but eating ice cream will never be the same.

Oh well, at least there’s LOST.

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